The grade for your Narrative Essay is B … while you are clear and consistent,Uncategorized The grade for your Narrative Essay is B … while you are clear and consistent, with some moments of stylistic variety, the writing seems occasionally simplistic with not much evidence of stylistic sophistication or stylistic development, in wording and sentence-structure. Try for less pronouns and many more descriptive details for support and development. You largely punctuate correctly, and you do use MLA formatting correctly. More than anything, add details and descriptiveness when revising for Comp #2.7/9/22 … Do try to reduce the number of pronouns here, especially the first-person “I” (refer to the Groundlaying Instructional Notes for examples. Stylistically, Longer, multiple-ideas, varied, interestingly worded, precisely punctuated, distinctive. In other words, you must figure this out for yourself, and a best suggestion involves reading high-quality professional writing (academic writing or the great storytellers [novelists, short storyists], not journalists) to see how it’s done. A solid approach to style (though somewhat basic) would be this, which professors have sworn by for many years: Strunk’s “Elements if Style”: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/37134/37134-h/37134-h.htm You should perhaps read it closely and apply its suggestions, where you believe effective. Style and wording are very personalized and individualized elements of human expression, but in the colleges that are preferences and expectations. At the highest level, you would look at academic publications, the type of words and sentence-structure used in published academic journals (which varies from discipline to discipline, of course). But if you’re interested in progressing from competency to craft, and from craft to art, read more serious writing, academic publications, famous authors, Supreme Court decisions, any high-quality writing which holds your interest, and begin making word lists, expanding your vocabulary as you go. Do not overwrite; do not try to overcompensate with too many “thesaurus” words, as this is easily exposed and never works. If you look at the sites posted through our Unit 4 (Purdue, Amherst [which links to Harvard, Dartmouth, UNC, etc.), they all give very similar guidance: be clear, be clear, be clear. Clarity is one thing; precision and sophisticated elegance is quite another—a serious writer must find a unique voice all that writer’s own, deciding what sounds best, which words are best. Lastly, you have corrected the MLA source-citing … well-done.7/5/22 … early feedback: while you are clear and consistent, incorporating some nice stylistic variety and a very few good specifics; give details like precisely when, where, what happened, what was said, what was done; add even more vivid descriptiveness to enhance some of those details; study the examples in the Norton Mix as well as those in our Unit 5 (when checking, I see that you have only accessed two of the nine Unit 5 subtopics/pages at this point). You also use too many pronouns at times. Although you do not need tutoring, based on this submission, you could still submit a publish of this essay to tutor.com and/or the Central Campus Writing Center to see if any of their feedback is useful. Of course, make corrections & expansion to this publish and then resubmit for grading by the assignment’s deadline. Lastly, you don’t quite cite the source correctly using the MLA method; please study these sites: https://guides.lib.unc.edu/citing-information/mla9 and https://owl.excelsior.edu/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/CausalArgument.pdf